You have slain the snares of the soul and the fleshly passions with the sword of abstinence. You have suppressed thoughts of transgression with the silence of instruction, and with the streams of your tears, you have watered the entire desert and brought forth for us the fruits of repentance. Therefore, we celebrate your memory, O venerable one.”
Sticheron from the Triodion (Venerable Mary), Tone 2, self-composed
April 1, 2025, Every Great Lent, the Church remembers the ascetic struggle of Saint Mary of Egypt. In the scorching heat, thirst, sands, and barren rocks, this remarkable desert flower grew, and her spiritual fragrance comforts us to this day. We return to her life time and again, finding both gentle rebuke and sweet healing in its pages.
The life of Saint Mary reminds us that repentance is not simply about ethics; it goes to the very core of our being. It is always a crossing over the Jordan into the wilderness, where there are wild beasts, scorching heat, and hunger. Yet there, an encounter with the Living God awaits. If a person is ready, like this sixth-century saint — ready to endure the heat, bear the cold, weaken from hunger, and fight with their passions — the Lord will reveal His love, power, and glory to him.
The word “sin” in Greek means “a miss,” and a sinner is one who misdirects the God-given powers of the soul. Mary received from the Lord the gift of a fiery, insatiable love, but instead of offering her heart to her Creator and His creation, she directed all the strength of that love towards herself. A talent turned entirely towards one’s own “I” not only impoverishes a person but also deprives him of reason. When Mary found herself in Jerusalem, love returned to its natural course. For the sake of love for the Lord, the soul, which had sinned inhumanly, took on the struggle of extraordinary asceticism and, for 17 whole years, battled cold and heat, hunger, and demonic thoughts.
Towards the close of her earthly journey, Saint Mary revealed to Elder Zosimas that she was born in Egypt. At the age of twelve, she left home for Alexandria and, for 17 years, led a dissolute life. The young woman sought happiness in physical desire, only to find that true joy was not there.
One day, she arrived in Jerusalem for the feast of the Exaltation of the Honorable Cross of the Lord. Together with other Christians, she made her way to the Lord’s Temple to ascend Golgotha and venerate the Life-Giving Tree. Following the crowd, Mary ascended the steps. The faithful were entering the church, but some invisible force blocked her passage through its doors. She thought the throng of pilgrims was hindering her, so she tried to elbow her way forward, but all attempts to enter were in vain.
Finally, Mary understood what was holding her back — her own sins. Even on her way to the Holy Land, as she later shared, she had not abandoned her abominations and filth. Grief and anguish filled Mary’s heart as she realized she could not approach the holy place. Lifting her eyes to an icon of the Most Holy Theotokos, she called out from the depths of her shattered heart:
“Mother of God, help me now to enter the church, to venerate the Precious Tree! I will no longer return to fornication, O Lady, I repent, I will change! Be my faithful Surety before Your Son, that I will no longer defile my body with the impurity of fornication, but, having looked upon the Tree of the Cross, I will renounce the world and its temptations and go wherever You, my guarantor of salvation, lead me.”
No sooner had Mary spoken these words and resolved to begin anew than she was able to enter the church freely, without hindrance. She approached the Cross of Christ, which was then located on Golgotha. With tears, the sinner fell before the Precious Tree, kissed it, remained for a moment in kneeling prayer, and went out into the square in front of the church. At the doors, a man handed her a few coins, with which she bought bread and headed for the east bank of the Jordan. There, in the monastery of the Honorable John the Baptist, Mary, with repentance and contrition, received the Holy Mysteries of Christ and crossed the Jordan. She was then 29 years old.
Sin is forgiven in repentance, but, as Saint Athanasius the Great teaches, repentance does not heal a corrupted nature — the roots remain, the sinful passions with which a struggle lies ahead. The grace of God allows us to see our own imperfections. We enter into a life-or-death struggle with ourselves, uncovering ever new and deeper passions. In this struggle, through God’s power, our fallen human nature is transformed, and through divine grace, a new creation is born — restored to dignity, transfigured, and made holy by God to the measure of the willingness to change and the struggle undertaken for this purpose.
The Lord gives unique grace to those whom, in His divine foreknowledge, He recognizes as spiritual laborers. The Lord saw how Mary, in her suffering, became like an angel in the desert — her complete devotion to the Truth she had discovered — and so He granted her great grace.
For a time, Mary lived in a cave near the river. Then she went deeper into the desert, on a journey of twenty days. There, the venerable elder Zosimas met her during Great Lent. By then, Mary had spent nearly 50 years in ascetic struggle and had reached her 76th year. Tradition tells us that the holy elder came from the Monastery of Kalamon, situated beyond the Monastery of John the Baptist, slightly north of the Monastery of Venerable Gerasimos of the Jordan. The Monastery of Kalamon no longer stands; today, only its ruined walls remain.
The first 17 years in the desert were excruciatingly difficult for Saint Mary. Of the 47 years she had spent in her solitary struggle of repentance, these initial years were a time of fierce battle. Mary promised the Mother of God that she would live a new life, but memories of her former life in Egypt — wine, meat, and carnal passions — tormented her soul. Whenever these temptations arose and her old passions threatened to overwhelm her, Mary would throw herself to the ground and cry out with sobs to the Most Pure One: “Most Holy Theotokos, help me, I promised You that I would live a new life!” And she would not rise until the unclean desire left her. Unceasingly, she waged a battle “with her insane passions, as with fierce beasts.”
For 17 years, season after season — through fasting, prayer, blistering heat, and utter isolation — Venerable Mary of Egypt waged war against the wickedness lodged within her soul. Her food was only the sparse vegetation of the desert; she made do with roots and herbs, suffering from the heat during the day (the temperature in the desert rises to 50 degrees Celsius) and freezing from the cold at night. She had to fight all her life, but in the end, she won; she truly fought the good fight, was cleansed from defilement, and was able to enter the realm of God, where she remained in peace for 20 years.
In later years, many saints drew inspiration from this holy woman, who had endured the trials of asceticism with such courage. They called on her in prayer for strength in their own battles against sin and temptation.
Venerable Mary asked Elder Zosimas to bring the Holy Gifts with him the following year during Great Lent and give her Holy Communion. This took place on the east bank of the Jordan. A year later, Venerable Zosimas gave Saint Mary Holy Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ, and the saint returned to the desert, walking on the water as if on dry land. At that time, the Jordan flowed mightily, often spreading widely during rainy periods. According to tradition, Saint Mary walked on the water for several kilometers, as there was no crossing.
Another year passed, and Elder Zosimas found Saint Mary at the place of their first meeting, lying with her arms crossed on her chest. At the saint’s head, inscribed on the ground, was the message that “the humble Mary” had departed to the Lord on that very day — 14 April 522 AD, on Good Friday, after receiving Holy Communion. The journey that took Venerable Zosimas 20 days, Mary covered in a few hours.
Saint Mary attained extraordinary heights of holiness and is a source of inspiration for all who struggle with sin: if one truly resolves to change, then with God’s help, they can attain an angelic state. Only one thing is impossible — to save someone against their will. In the sacrament of Repentance, sin is washed away, and not just the soul but the body too is transformed. The repentant sinner was given not only the gift of foresight but also the ability to walk on water. She walked to God with the faith that had grown within her during 47 years in the desert. For a heart burning with love for the Lord, even water was no barrier. The Apostle Peter also walked on water towards Christ until he doubted. Saint Mary had no doubts or hesitations — she walked confidently toward the Holy Chalice.
The Lord preserved the relics of Saint Mary — her relics can be venerated in various countries, including Moscow, at Sretensky Monastery. Her relics were unearthed by the brethren of the Monastery of Kalamon, where Abba Zosimas had acetized in his final years. Through him, the Church learned of the saint’s remarkable life, whose example sustains us in the latter half of Great Lent.
In Rus’, the life of Saint Mary of Egypt was a beloved household reading. In the Church calendar, the saint’s memory is commemorated three times: on 14 April, the day of her repose; on the Fifth Sunday of Great Lent; and on the Thursday of the Fifth Week of Great Lent. On the eve of this latter commemoration, on Wednesday evening, the Church remembers her life of repentance in a special service called the “Standing of Saint Mary of Egypt,” during which Matins is served with the reading of the Great Canon of Repentance by Saint Andrew of Crete and the life of Saint Mary of Egypt. Her life was written in the 7th century by Saint Sophronius, Patriarch of Jerusalem, who probably recorded an earlier oral monastic tradition. The Fifth Week of Great Lent is named after Saint Mary of Egypt, placing her among the great figures of the Lenten “school of piety,” alongside Saint Gregory Palamas and Saint John Climacus.
As Saint Seraphim of Sarov wrote, the only difference between a perishing sinner and a sinner who finds salvation lies in one thing — resolve. God’s grace is always near, but we do not always respond to it as Saint Mary of Egypt did. When she became aware of herself, of the utter destructiveness of her actions, she turned to repentance with the same energy with which she had once sinned, striving to please God regardless of anything. This is the measure of Saint Mary of Egypt’s character — how she faced the horror that gripped her and made the extraordinary choice to change her life.
Because it is not enough to recognise the evil within; it is not even enough to reject it by an effort of will. It lingers in our memories, our longings, our weaknesses, and the decay that sin brings. It must be uprooted so that, through the struggle of repentance, it is wiped out from our souls forever.
Saint Mary of Egypt did not merely begin her repentance and movement towards God; she followed it through, remaining faithful to the end. Her life is extraordinary, her conversion unparalleled, her spiritual struggle and its fruits exceptional. Her life shines as one of the most compelling examples of repentance and, at the same time, a reminder of God’s inexhaustible love for humankind.
Through the prayers of Saint Mary, O Lord, help us to overcome all that is evil within ourselves, to conquer our passions and, becoming new people in You, our God, to grow as good wheat in Your Kingdom. Venerable Mary, pray to God for us, that, having repented and changed, we too may be granted eternal joy in the Lord.
Source: St. Elisabeth Convent
